Quite a few people take offence to being called privileged – for me I see it as an accurate description of my circumstances. I believe the offence comes from the association with being entitled – there is a fine line between being privileged and being entitled.
To understand why I classify myself as privileged you I need to look at the under-privileged. These SW are usually found in brothels, on the streets, or have managers/pimps who dictate who they see and what they do. These SW don’t have the opportunities privileged workers do. They might be in the industry because they have no other choice if they want a roof over their head, food in their belly, be able to feed and clothe their children, and have the ability to pay their bills. The under-privileged SW may not have the option to turn down clients who raise red-flags as disrespectful and potentially dangerous because they need the work, or their manager/pimp pressures them to take the booking. These SW may not have the opportunity to implement screening processes like privileged SW – they may not be able to ask for a deposit, they may be waiting in a brothel/hotel room/at home or on the street for a client just so they can buy groceries or pay their bills that week – they may be that desperate for a booking that they ignore that gut feeling that the client could be dangerous. Under-privileged workers scrape by, they may only be able to charge a below average rate to attract clients – but also attract disrespectful, abusive, dangerous, misogynistic/misandry clients who want to ‘use’ a SW but don’t want to pay any more than they have too.
I am privileged because: ~I have a semi-stable income from multiple regular clients. ~I have the opportunity to choose my rates. ~I can choose when and where I work ~I have the ability to take time off and limit my booking so I don’t succumb to emotional or physical burnout. ~I am able to choose to limit my bookings, ensure I am well rested to provide the best service I possibly can – then charge a higher rate so my income doesn’t drop ~I receive pre-bookings making it easier to plan my time so I’m not wasting time waiting by the phone ~I can demand deposit ~I can screen my clients ~Most of my clients are really respectful ~I have the opportunity to turn down clients if I feel were not going to click ~I have the ability to turn away potential clients who I feel are dangerous, entitled, disrespectful and raise any red flags ~I have the ability to market myself to attract clients I am compatible with ~I have the opportunity to leave the industry if I want to ~I am just lucky to be suited to the industry and have the opportunity to create a business/brand around what makes me happy
Some people see some of the things that make privileged as entitlement. Being safe and having a healthy mental state does not make me entitled – it makes me privileged. Its not a bad thing to be privileged, It just means you have opportunities to grow, set yourself up for a future and retirement, keep your mental health and physical health safe, and create a working environment that you enjoy and thrive off of. There are so many SW without this opportunity and realising this allows me to realise I am privileged.
Now for the extreme end of privilege – there’s entitlement. I am not dismissing entitlement necessarily as an entirely bad thing – I understand for some SW the key to their mental health and being in the industry is either being privileged or entitled. If that works for them that’s their thing and there are clients who prefer an entitled SW over a privileged or under-privileged. I however do not agree with enforcing entitled attitudes onto SW who are not, shaming or bullying them because they simply don’t have the opportunity or onto clients who expect a level of service that they are paying for.
Being entitled is: ~Believing you are better than any under-privileged escort because you receive better clients, money and gifts ~Disregarding and shaming clients because you believe you are ‘too good’ for them either physically or financially ~Believing you are worth more than majority of the entire industry ~Not recognising or appreciating that you are privileged ~Shaming other facets of the industry because they are different to you ~Showing no compassion to those who are going through difficulties and even blaming them for it ~Shaming other aspects of the industry for not implementing safety/screening measures because you have the ability to, refusing to try to understand why they may not ~Refusing to try to see things from other people’s POV. ~Expecting gifts, tips and clients to do exactly what you want without considering what they want to. ~Will only interact and show respect to other SW who are entitled or privileged, and clients who only seen entitled/privileged SW. ~Charge whatever they want and give a half-heated effort - not appreciating the money received should reflect a certain the level of service and effort. ~Implying that you have more integrity than other workers because of who your clients are, your marketing strategies, the duration/types of bookings you have and what clothes you wear.
Usually entitlement originates from a privileged SW who has become arrogant or narcissistic – this could just be who they are, or it could evolve after attracting a significant amount of clients and being successful enough that they become this way. Even though I understand entitlement I personally don’t agree with it and take measures to ensure I never become this way – occasionally I will need to check myself and become grounded again – I associate with different SW from different aspects of the industry, spend time with family and friends and even have friends who see other SW from different facets of the industry. This helps me show compassion, understanding and appreciation. I choose to recognise my privilege and appreciate it. I appreciate the opportunities I have received, the clients I see, my financial stability, my safety, my healthy mental state, the opportunity to grow, the fact I am naturally suited to the industry, my genetics (and financial stability for cosmetic enhancements) allowing me to be more physically appealing to attract clients, the skills I have naturally acquired or picked up with experience, and that I am naturally a pleaser - which provides a better experience because I enjoy it.
I am lucky – that is all – I am not better or worse than anyone else in the industry – I am just privileged.